I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
