Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
