he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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