Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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