i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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