Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize