he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
