How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
