New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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