Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
How does it feel to date your dad?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize