I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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