if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
