she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
