When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
