What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
