Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
