covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
