Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
