Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
