if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
sex in a hospital.. check
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
