the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just google imaged poop.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
