she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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