is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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