Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
