He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
