I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Randomize