Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm too high and old for this...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
