Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
