you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
50% drunk capacity currently
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
