Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
its liver damage thursday
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
