im about as happy as oj after his trial
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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