I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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