if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
