i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
