my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize