Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
