PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
