i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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