Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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