What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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