Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
