What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
