Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
