office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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