why didn't you poke me back
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
