Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
