your thong is hanging out like whoa
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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