its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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