when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just pee around me
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
