Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
