Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
