either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
