Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
