Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
