Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
