Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
