I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
