How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
