A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
