Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
