My nipple is on Facebook.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
