As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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