We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
